I know my posts on margaretbagwell.wordpress.com have been few and far between, especially over the last few years. Now that my MTS thesis is turned in and graduation is near, I’ve decided to try my hand at blogging again using a new domain name. You can now find me at “Daily Musings on Life Together.”
I’ll be blogging on life with my new husband Caleb, our imminent move to Tennessee to take our first church, ministry, reading, cooking, and life in general. I hope you will choose to visit my new site and maybe beginning following this new blog. Thank you for the support here.
PS– if the link gives you any trouble you can find my “Daily Musings” at http://thefragwells.wordpress.com.
So we are almost two weeks away from our wedding and naturally my thoughts are all over the place. Half the time I’m obsessing over this detail or another that I need to see to in the short time I will be in Georgia before the Bagwell and Frazier clans begin to gather. The other half of the time I’m dreaming about what it will be like to actually start living day in and day out with this person who I love so much and who makes me feel more like me than I think I’ve ever felt… and there it goes again a lump in my throat and the threat of tears. My hormones are up and down, back and forth. If I’m this close to tears when I’m about to be married, I can’t imagine the emotions that will overtake me someday when I’m pregnant. But thoughts like that are for another time and another blog post some years down the road.
Back to my musings on our current countdown. The thing I’ve been obsessing over today is imagining what it will be like to go from sleeping in a bed alone every night to having someone else there beside me. I’ve talked to Caleb and it’s been on his mind too. We are both pretty spoiled on this account. In our rooms in our parent’s homes we both have a nice large queen size bed to ourselves. Accustomed to all the room, we are both used to taking up the whole bed. I like to sleep diagonally my head at one corner of the bed and my feet projected toward the opposite corner. Caleb’s told me that he is a middle of the bed kind of guy. Legs in a sorts of directions and from the tangled look of his sheets in the morning there is a good chance he moves around a lot. [smile] I think we will both have some things to get used to… especially since the bed we’ll be sharing in our little apartment is a full size.
I tend to think it will all work out okay though. We’ll be newlyweds and cuddling together at night is a requirement. Who knows maybe we’ll love the full sized bed so much we insist on it for the rest of our lives? Then again probably not. [smile]
my sleep has been interrupted by nightmares. The night before last I was plagued with half-dead deer who were biting my arms as I was attempting to fling them as far away from me as possible. The deer looked exactly as I would imagine zombie deer might… a grey-green hue to their fur, bloodshot eyes eternally open, and open wounds. The deer were quite sinister and throughout the dream I could imagine why they would be after me when I was not the one who had killed them… nor the one who would eat them. Where is this gruesome imagery coming from? I’ve had a mostly meat-free diet since 2007.
Then this morning I woke with the memory of another terrible dream. The origin of this one was a bit easier to nail down– stress surrounding a certain big day that is just 18 days away! Let me set the scene: Its wedding day and the ceremony must have occurred without incident because it didn’t come to play in the dream. The reception on the other hand is off from the very start. Its raining so we’ve had to move everything inside. The food somehow is more sauce than substance. And then its time for the first dance and the DJ plays the wrong song. Weirdly instead of just laughing it off as I know he would, Caleb begins to cry. Then just when we get the music put to rights, half the guests disappear.
Needless to say I would love to wake up tomorrow without fear.
For the second morning in the row, I’ve enjoyed my coffee with the windows open and air conditioner off. I love listening to the sound of the morning… the city traffic and campus construction along with the birdsong and occasionally the sound of an American University athlete starting a workout on the tennis and basketball courts behind our building.
Today in addition to celebrating the arrival of autumn, I’m celebrating the arrival… 24 years ago… of my beautiful baby sisters. Our lucky family got a “two-fer” so today I celebrate Sarah and Rachel. I remember the excitement surrounding their birth and the special time I got to spend with my grandparents while my parents were at the hospital. I remember the Double-Mint gum floral arrangement, the 2 sets of twin babies I received, and holding those little ones for the first time. Through the years having two little sisters has really paid off. I had two little students to “teach”, two lovely ladies for tea, two fellow explorers on adventures in the backyard, and now two extra special bridesmaids to stand by my side in just a few weeks. My life has been so blessed to have sisters. I’ve learned so much from each of you about how to live more fully as my true self. I love you Rachel and Sarah. Happy Birthday!
This weekend Caleb and I went to an awesome Beatles cover band festival at the National Harbor just outside of DC. The photo above is of one of the concerts we saw. Three days later I’m still singing “Daytripper” and “In my Life”. Such the perfect afternoon and evening. We had day passes, but weren’t sure what we were really getting into so we got there around 3. We watched a few cover bands, took a break for dinner, and headed back to the main stage for the headliners as the sun began to set. The lawn was packed, but we stacked out a spot. For dessert we shared a funnel cake and some super yummy caramel crunch ice cream from Scoops2U, a food truck. We both loved the ice cream so much we decided we had to track down the vendor in the city some afternoon when we had some time to kill.
The evening shows were amazing. The first band, Abbey Road Live! from Athens, GA, played the entire St. Pepper’s Album, which I learned from Caleb was particularly cool b/c The Beatles made that album purposefully complex so it could not be recreated live. The second show was a combination of several cover bands playing the album for Cirque de Soleil’s Love show. It was really quite magical. A surprise treat in the middle of the two shows was a cover of Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody. Its even cooler when performed live. The evening ended kind of abruptly because a huge storm swept through the area… tons of lightening and eventually lots of rain. Luckily we reached our car in the parking garage just minutes before it began pouring.
Love you, M.
I woke up this morning feeling so blessed. Today is the first day of mine and Caleb’s last year in seminary. We are also officially 40 days away from our wedding. Tonight I’ll attend the first session of World Religions as Dr. Clark’s teaching assistant.
The day greeting me seems to share my anticipation. Looking out the window in our cozy apartment the lawn is scattered with with birds pecking the ground looking for breakfast. Everything is bathed in sunlight. I feel hopeful, at peace, and ready to greet this new beginning. What a lovely day!
Since Thanksgiving… I’ve written my Credo part 1; got an iPhone; visited TN a couple of times; sadly said goodbye to a few housemates; celebrated Christmas with my family and The Nine; met Court’s Allie Grace; rung in the New Year; cheered Emily on at the Disney Land Marathon; played in a little snow; watched the Super Bowl; started a new semester; hosted a Valentine’s dinner; attended the seminary “prom”; made jambalaya for Mardi Gras; and…
GOT ENGAGED! [smile]
His name is Caleb. We’ve been dating since October and he’s completely swept me off my feet (which should help explain why I seemingly dropped off the face of the planet for a few months).
Caleb’s in seminary with me… in fact you may recognize him from the video I posted in October. (Yes, he’s the guy who I was supposed to be stalking.) Three days after filming Caleb asked me for coffee and October 1st we meet in Dupont Circle for our first date. Coffee turned into a 5 1/2 hour date that ended with a promise that we would get together again soon. October was a whirlwind of getting to know each other and in November over Thanksgiving we meet each others families… hence all the trips to TN. At Christmas, I introduced him to The Nine.
On January 20th, he proposed in Dupont Circle… a full post about that will be published soon. For now just know that I am so happy. Caleb is wonderful and although wedding planning has already got me a little stressed, I’m so excited about marrying him and starting a life together.
With love, M.
They have flopped again, aka I made con-cakes instead of cupcakes.
AHHH! How many more times should I try to make these cupcakes before I give up? I made sure to add baking powder and not soda this time. And they are a bit less caved in than the first time. Still they are far from the perfect little domed cakes I’m hoping to create. I’m sure the problem is that I’m trying to combine two recipes, but hey I’m a baker and I should be able to do this. [smile]
On the upside they do taste great, but honestly it would almost be better if they didn’t taste so good. I might be persuaded to give up the battle. Instead I think I’ll tackle them again at Christmas. I’m a glutton for punishment I guess or perhaps I just trust that the third time will be the charm. [smile]
Though I don’t have a direct view of the sunrise from my window, the prelude to today’s symphony is still beautiful in the city. I’m sitting at my desk this morning watching as the sun peeks over the tops of the buildings across the street. My orchids and African violets anticipate the slow progress of those beams until my wall of windows is blasted with the sun. Yesterday in my Journaling in Nature class someone remarked that the autumn sun seems to deliver an intensity that is particularly unique from the other seasons.
The cool crisp air of autumn and the warm sun are on my list of things to be thankful for this morning. If you have something you are particularly grateful for this morning, I’d love for you to share it in the comments.
Where did October go?
Just yesterday it felt like I was anticipating celebrating my birthday with my family in Georgia and now its November 2nd. October seemed to rush in and out this year with little time to reflect. Perhaps November will forgive if I wax philosophical about October for a moment.
I’ve always thought of October as the changing month and the month of the in between. This year was the same. The month began with warmer, cloudy fall days and much rain. October 1st was a particularly dreary day if I remember correctly. [smile] Scattered showers and lots of cloud cover. And on October 29th we had our first snow flurries heralding the approaching winter. The month ended on a particularly bright note and though cold October 31st was marked by bright pure sunlight. The trees followed the weather changes and mostly green leaves turned to mostly oranges, reds, and yellows. Transition happened in my life as with nature. Twenty seven turned into twenty eight. Another year of my life begun with new roads to travel. [smile]
I get the feeling that we’re “supposed” to feel like these autumnal changes mark an end of something. But how can this transition not be seen as a beginning? Autumn’s colors are not somber, but triumphant. And the approaching cold brings an awareness to the senses that was not there before. Instead of calling our attention to an approaching sleep, October with her changes commands we see the world with possibility.
Last night during our worship time for our house meeting, Josh led us in a poetry writing activity. My mind was captivated by the hope in visioning possibility. My poem below is quite rough, but I think is appropriate as I remember October 2011.
multiple paths, multiple destinations.
How did I get here?
This is not what matters.
I am here.
Possibilities fulfilled, possibilities opened.